Hello everyone,
I have got to say a temporary goodbye to everyone since I am starting on my first book. A lot of the posts in here are now hidden so that, eventhough I won't be writing about the same things, I could recycle some of the materials. I do leave a few writings for us to remember our good times together.
Feel free to drop me a note at the chat box, or on the comment box under this post.
Been great telling you all these stories, and we will soon meet again!
Happy 2009 and love,
The Sushi Hunt-er
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Red flags to catch and dump lemons :)
Ladies, I once promised you that I will stop writing relationship topics. Please excuse my inconsistency for breaking this promise since I find it more important to let you know some of the red flags in a guy’s actions which hopefully will help you decide the worthiness of that guy you're dating in that 3 months “probation” period.
These are the things that I found from observations and discussions with my girlfriends who have had bad experiences in their past relationships. I don’t want to be too harsh or rude, but in case you find one these symptoms in a guy’s actions, it is worth considering to DUMP him.
1. Watch out for guys who tell you stories that are intended to make you empathize with them. This can be bad childhood stories (bad relationships with daddy, or mommy, or siblings), or any defects in their bodies (illness, sexual disfunctionalities). The reason for telling you such stories is to make you feel special and “willingly obliged” to understand them and to empathize since they are sharing you their most precious stories. And they will never forget to mention to you “I’ve never told this to anybody, but I cannot keep it as a secret from you”. Imagine that a guy, who is seemingly very much into you, tells you their utmost important story at the very early stage of your relationship. You will feel precious, trusted and appreciated because they believe in you so much to tell you these things early enough in the relationship. What you don’t know is that, despite the disclaimer of “I’ve never told this to anybody”, there are probably tons of other girls who have heard the same stories. And these girls did empathize. Care to compete who empathizes more, ladies? I don’t. DUMP him.
2. Find out his priorities. I once had a relationship with a guy who rarely told me what was in his mind. One fine Saturday evening, the evening that should be spent with him as my boyfriend at the time, I found out from him that he went to another girl’s place to “help” her prepare her comprehensive exam. As the girlfriend, I felt betrayed because he preferred to go to another girl’s place than to see me on a Saturday evening. I was the girlfriend and that girl was a nobody. But when I told him that I didn’t feel comfortable with that, he told me that I was being paranoid and overly jealous. This is the oldest trick in the book, and has been confirmed by most of my guy friends. Guys would try to flip your words upside down, and would make you feel guilty for something that they did wrong. It’s a notion of saving their own as#es, and making you look like the bad guy. A guy who wouldn’t put you in a high priority and who would not consider your feelings after doing an unacceptable behavior, should go to the trash bin. DELETE.
3. This is another red flag which you really-really have to watch out. Many of my girlfriends have confirmed this as a bad signal. If a guy feels uncomfortable to introduce you to his friends, or ex girlfriend, or relatives as his new “significant” other; or if he feels the necessity to "hide" you from the world... then ladies, take a few steps back… turn around... and RUN as fast as you can! There’s no point in entertaining a guy’s dirty trick of trying to be discreet about your presence. He should be happy to be with you, and when he’s not showing that to you, RUN AWAY.
4. If a guy proposes to you or asks you to marry him only after three weeks of knowing you, you should realize that he’s probably going on the fast lane to see the insides of your skirt. The same goes if a guy you are dating calls your parents “Mama and Papa” after only knowing you for a month. (Yes, it’s time to laugh people…). No matter how connected you feel towards him, no matter how much truth he puts in his eyes, you should never ever say yes to his proposal and then AVOID him completely. Remember, you have got nothing to lose. If that guy is sincere, he will be the one who is afraid of losing you and will try very hard to prove you he’s worth it. If he’s not sincere, he should be ashamed of himself for bringing up the M word just to get under your skirt. (I have also noticed that my happily married girlfriends are the ones who put down their feet, and show they have got nothing to lose. These biatches have got NO fear).
5. With regards to character, you should watch out for guys who try very hard to please everybody. This is usually the case when the guy is insecure. In general, these guys try so hard for people to like him, for people to call him nice. They can go overboard by making you feel special, buying you lunches or dinners for no reason at all (you’re not yet his close friend, not yet his girlfriend). While it is not necessary to be overly cautious when you find guys like these, it is important to differentiate those who are genuinely nice and those who are just trying too hard to please people. With the latter type, once you become his girlfriend, you will be the last person on earth he is trying to please, as he will be expecting you to “understand” him for everything he does. Haha! Yeah, right.
Caution after reading: these red flags are only suitable for level headed, reasonable girls who can think clearly. Author is not responsible for any results of the above recommendations.
Author acknowledges that these red flag behaviors can also appear in women. However, in light of the Author’s straight sexual preference, from her observations she found these red flag behaviors mostly in men.
These are the things that I found from observations and discussions with my girlfriends who have had bad experiences in their past relationships. I don’t want to be too harsh or rude, but in case you find one these symptoms in a guy’s actions, it is worth considering to DUMP him.
1. Watch out for guys who tell you stories that are intended to make you empathize with them. This can be bad childhood stories (bad relationships with daddy, or mommy, or siblings), or any defects in their bodies (illness, sexual disfunctionalities). The reason for telling you such stories is to make you feel special and “willingly obliged” to understand them and to empathize since they are sharing you their most precious stories. And they will never forget to mention to you “I’ve never told this to anybody, but I cannot keep it as a secret from you”. Imagine that a guy, who is seemingly very much into you, tells you their utmost important story at the very early stage of your relationship. You will feel precious, trusted and appreciated because they believe in you so much to tell you these things early enough in the relationship. What you don’t know is that, despite the disclaimer of “I’ve never told this to anybody”, there are probably tons of other girls who have heard the same stories. And these girls did empathize. Care to compete who empathizes more, ladies? I don’t. DUMP him.
2. Find out his priorities. I once had a relationship with a guy who rarely told me what was in his mind. One fine Saturday evening, the evening that should be spent with him as my boyfriend at the time, I found out from him that he went to another girl’s place to “help” her prepare her comprehensive exam. As the girlfriend, I felt betrayed because he preferred to go to another girl’s place than to see me on a Saturday evening. I was the girlfriend and that girl was a nobody. But when I told him that I didn’t feel comfortable with that, he told me that I was being paranoid and overly jealous. This is the oldest trick in the book, and has been confirmed by most of my guy friends. Guys would try to flip your words upside down, and would make you feel guilty for something that they did wrong. It’s a notion of saving their own as#es, and making you look like the bad guy. A guy who wouldn’t put you in a high priority and who would not consider your feelings after doing an unacceptable behavior, should go to the trash bin. DELETE.
3. This is another red flag which you really-really have to watch out. Many of my girlfriends have confirmed this as a bad signal. If a guy feels uncomfortable to introduce you to his friends, or ex girlfriend, or relatives as his new “significant” other; or if he feels the necessity to "hide" you from the world... then ladies, take a few steps back… turn around... and RUN as fast as you can! There’s no point in entertaining a guy’s dirty trick of trying to be discreet about your presence. He should be happy to be with you, and when he’s not showing that to you, RUN AWAY.
4. If a guy proposes to you or asks you to marry him only after three weeks of knowing you, you should realize that he’s probably going on the fast lane to see the insides of your skirt. The same goes if a guy you are dating calls your parents “Mama and Papa” after only knowing you for a month. (Yes, it’s time to laugh people…). No matter how connected you feel towards him, no matter how much truth he puts in his eyes, you should never ever say yes to his proposal and then AVOID him completely. Remember, you have got nothing to lose. If that guy is sincere, he will be the one who is afraid of losing you and will try very hard to prove you he’s worth it. If he’s not sincere, he should be ashamed of himself for bringing up the M word just to get under your skirt. (I have also noticed that my happily married girlfriends are the ones who put down their feet, and show they have got nothing to lose. These biatches have got NO fear).
5. With regards to character, you should watch out for guys who try very hard to please everybody. This is usually the case when the guy is insecure. In general, these guys try so hard for people to like him, for people to call him nice. They can go overboard by making you feel special, buying you lunches or dinners for no reason at all (you’re not yet his close friend, not yet his girlfriend). While it is not necessary to be overly cautious when you find guys like these, it is important to differentiate those who are genuinely nice and those who are just trying too hard to please people. With the latter type, once you become his girlfriend, you will be the last person on earth he is trying to please, as he will be expecting you to “understand” him for everything he does. Haha! Yeah, right.
Caution after reading: these red flags are only suitable for level headed, reasonable girls who can think clearly. Author is not responsible for any results of the above recommendations.
Author acknowledges that these red flag behaviors can also appear in women. However, in light of the Author’s straight sexual preference, from her observations she found these red flag behaviors mostly in men.
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
The "elegant" payback
So you met a jerk, a lying cheating bastard, a person who speaks one thing but does another. So it happened that he broke your heart. You want to let go, but you’re very-very-very angry. You are not at peace until you get back to him. But you can’t yell and scream at him for his wrong doings. That won’t have any effects on him.
One thing you can do is to suck it up, move on and learn from it… but what can you learn?
My friend Suzie told me, that if there’s one thing she could learn from her break up, is that she should have learned and become a master in Karate. Just by the knowledge of her mastery in Karate, that guy would think ten times before setting up a date with another girl, or before dialing another girl’s number to chat her up until late at night. He would not say nasty things to her because he knew she could break his bones quite easily and quickly if he pissed her off. The knowing that you have the power over somebody else, and the possibility to use it if he pissed you off, is great.
As for me, I would love to learn acupressure. I used to watch those Kung Fu movies when I was a kid, and the only skill I really admire from watching those movies is not the Kung Fu itself, but the acupressure. The ability to paralyze someone just by tapping his neck… hmmm…
Imagine that I could tap the neck of a guy who deliberately lied to me and broke my heart. I could paralyze his hands and feet, but I would not numb him. He could still feel, but he couldn’t move. Then I could be tickling him up and down up and down. He could feel the tickle but he couldn’t move, or run away, or laugh. I could tickle him until it was just enough before he fainted. And then I could revive him and start the whole process again.
(Note that I have been using the word: I could, instead of I would. It doesn’t matter whether I will or will not do it, just knowing that I can, gives me the power)
You think that’s not fair play? Well, emotional abuse is just as bad as physical abuse. That is for lying to me. For telling me he loved me so much yet marrying another woman. For making me the “in between” girl until he found someone better. For telling me I was great but treating me like trash. For letting my hopes high and bombing them down into pieces. For breaking my confidence by saying rude and nasty things to me. For being a jerk.
The great thing about acupressure is that, you don’t leave any marks. If you karate the jerk, he could go to the police and made you go to jail. But if you apply acupressure… he would not have any prove to make you go to jail. That is just the same as me not having any prove that he broke my heart to make him go to jail for it.
Hmmm…
----------------------------
Inspired by Mel Gibson's movie, the payback. Hubba, hubba, hubba!
To my dear friend DS. I started a different kind of "on relationships" topic ;-)
One thing you can do is to suck it up, move on and learn from it… but what can you learn?
My friend Suzie told me, that if there’s one thing she could learn from her break up, is that she should have learned and become a master in Karate. Just by the knowledge of her mastery in Karate, that guy would think ten times before setting up a date with another girl, or before dialing another girl’s number to chat her up until late at night. He would not say nasty things to her because he knew she could break his bones quite easily and quickly if he pissed her off. The knowing that you have the power over somebody else, and the possibility to use it if he pissed you off, is great.
As for me, I would love to learn acupressure. I used to watch those Kung Fu movies when I was a kid, and the only skill I really admire from watching those movies is not the Kung Fu itself, but the acupressure. The ability to paralyze someone just by tapping his neck… hmmm…
Imagine that I could tap the neck of a guy who deliberately lied to me and broke my heart. I could paralyze his hands and feet, but I would not numb him. He could still feel, but he couldn’t move. Then I could be tickling him up and down up and down. He could feel the tickle but he couldn’t move, or run away, or laugh. I could tickle him until it was just enough before he fainted. And then I could revive him and start the whole process again.
(Note that I have been using the word: I could, instead of I would. It doesn’t matter whether I will or will not do it, just knowing that I can, gives me the power)
You think that’s not fair play? Well, emotional abuse is just as bad as physical abuse. That is for lying to me. For telling me he loved me so much yet marrying another woman. For making me the “in between” girl until he found someone better. For telling me I was great but treating me like trash. For letting my hopes high and bombing them down into pieces. For breaking my confidence by saying rude and nasty things to me. For being a jerk.
The great thing about acupressure is that, you don’t leave any marks. If you karate the jerk, he could go to the police and made you go to jail. But if you apply acupressure… he would not have any prove to make you go to jail. That is just the same as me not having any prove that he broke my heart to make him go to jail for it.
Hmmm…
----------------------------
Inspired by Mel Gibson's movie, the payback. Hubba, hubba, hubba!
To my dear friend DS. I started a different kind of "on relationships" topic ;-)
Monday, March 10, 2008
Love at first sight?
I did it again. For the second time. I signed in a contract on the first apartment I saw. It happened once in Rotterdam, now it happens again here.
I’m a very practical person. When looking for an apartment, I would set out a budget range which I think would be reasonable, then I would set some standards on what sort of things I was looking for in an apartment, and when I found it, voila! I signed the contract. I wouldn’t bother looking around for other apartments, because really, I wouldn’t let go of something that to me was too good to be true.
Have you had those moments, when looking for a pair of shoes that you went back to the first pair you saw, eventhough you’ve ransacked the whole department store to find something better than those first pair? Well, I had many times experienced those moments. And to me, ransacking the whole department store would be impractical and a waste of my energy. So, there.
In Rotterdam, I placed an ad on a local website, letting them know what sorts of things I was looking for. It just so happened that I found the perfect match. I had good landlords, the place was considered close to the centrum and centraal station (although my spoiled friends think walking to and fro were too far… heheheh…) it was safe, affordable and I loved it. In short, I found that place very practical.
In this city, I also looked on the local website. When I saw an interesting ad on the website, I contacted the landlord because I thought the price was affordable (many have warned me that the rent prices in this city have gone up shooting the stars that I won’t be able to find something of my standards – no sharing – with the kind of budget I have set). I wasn’t expecting any miracles when I set up the appointment with the landlord to see this ‘affordable’ place. I went with my best bud Yodz, just to make sure that I could get some local opinion on the place.
And again, it was too good to be true. Basically, everything I was looking for. Close to MRT station, safe, close to shopping and hawker centers, spacious, I can have it all for myself, and… a bit on the plus side, it’s on the penthouse! Spectacular view of the city at night, hahahahhah!!!
Since it has happened twice, Yodz told me that I fall in love too quickly. Well, if it was that kind of too good to be true, that everything I had asked for came true, why not???
If only I was that lucky with men. But then again, you can’t have all things in life, can you? So, I’m counting my blessings.
(Oh, and my dear Fitri O, I have checked the Feng Shui. It’s ok… hahahahah!!!)
I’m a very practical person. When looking for an apartment, I would set out a budget range which I think would be reasonable, then I would set some standards on what sort of things I was looking for in an apartment, and when I found it, voila! I signed the contract. I wouldn’t bother looking around for other apartments, because really, I wouldn’t let go of something that to me was too good to be true.
Have you had those moments, when looking for a pair of shoes that you went back to the first pair you saw, eventhough you’ve ransacked the whole department store to find something better than those first pair? Well, I had many times experienced those moments. And to me, ransacking the whole department store would be impractical and a waste of my energy. So, there.
In Rotterdam, I placed an ad on a local website, letting them know what sorts of things I was looking for. It just so happened that I found the perfect match. I had good landlords, the place was considered close to the centrum and centraal station (although my spoiled friends think walking to and fro were too far… heheheh…) it was safe, affordable and I loved it. In short, I found that place very practical.
In this city, I also looked on the local website. When I saw an interesting ad on the website, I contacted the landlord because I thought the price was affordable (many have warned me that the rent prices in this city have gone up shooting the stars that I won’t be able to find something of my standards – no sharing – with the kind of budget I have set). I wasn’t expecting any miracles when I set up the appointment with the landlord to see this ‘affordable’ place. I went with my best bud Yodz, just to make sure that I could get some local opinion on the place.
And again, it was too good to be true. Basically, everything I was looking for. Close to MRT station, safe, close to shopping and hawker centers, spacious, I can have it all for myself, and… a bit on the plus side, it’s on the penthouse! Spectacular view of the city at night, hahahahhah!!!
Since it has happened twice, Yodz told me that I fall in love too quickly. Well, if it was that kind of too good to be true, that everything I had asked for came true, why not???
If only I was that lucky with men. But then again, you can’t have all things in life, can you? So, I’m counting my blessings.
(Oh, and my dear Fitri O, I have checked the Feng Shui. It’s ok… hahahahah!!!)
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Mommy and the wedding singer
For the last three weeks my kitchen has been smoking again. The fume from deep fried bala-bala*, omelet, fried onions, sambal goreng, nasi goreng, soto, meatball soup and the likes, drifts around my petite apartment.
“ Boow, lo dah pengen kawin ya boow?? Sabar ya boow, nanti juga ada calonnya” – H.Pratanti (
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Bala-bala: mixed vegetables dipped in liquefied flour – deep fried.
Pelor: A term for someone who can easily fall asleep – anytime – anywhere.
Dangdut: Indonesian reggae music (hahahahahah) - Let's patent this one before Malaysians claim this too!
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