Red flags to catch and dump lemons :)

Ladies, I once promised you that I will stop writing relationship topics. Please excuse my inconsistency for breaking this promise since I find it more important to let you know some of the red flags in a guy’s actions which hopefully will help you decide the worthiness of that guy you're dating in that 3 months “probation” period.

These are the things that I found from observations and discussions with my girlfriends who have had bad experiences in their past relationships. I don’t want to be too harsh or rude, but in case you find one these symptoms in a guy’s actions, it is worth considering to DUMP him.

1. Watch out for guys who tell you stories that are intended to make you empathize with them. This can be bad childhood stories (bad relationships with daddy, or mommy, or siblings), or any defects in their bodies (illness, sexual disfunctionalities). The reason for telling you such stories is to make you feel special and “willingly obliged” to understand them and to empathize since they are sharing you their most precious stories. And they will never forget to mention to you “I’ve never told this to anybody, but I cannot keep it as a secret from you”. Imagine that a guy, who is seemingly very much into you, tells you their utmost important story at the very early stage of your relationship. You will feel precious, trusted and appreciated because they believe in you so much to tell you these things early enough in the relationship. What you don’t know is that, despite the disclaimer of “I’ve never told this to anybody”, there are probably tons of other girls who have heard the same stories. And these girls did empathize. Care to compete who empathizes more, ladies? I don’t. DUMP him.

2. Find out his priorities. I once had a relationship with a guy who rarely told me what was in his mind. One fine Saturday evening, the evening that should be spent with him as my boyfriend at the time, I found out from him that he went to another girl’s place to “help” her prepare her comprehensive exam. As the girlfriend, I felt betrayed because he preferred to go to another girl’s place than to see me on a Saturday evening. I was the girlfriend and that girl was a nobody. But when I told him that I didn’t feel comfortable with that, he told me that I was being paranoid and overly jealous. This is the oldest trick in the book, and has been confirmed by most of my guy friends. Guys would try to flip your words upside down, and would make you feel guilty for something that they did wrong. It’s a notion of saving their own as#es, and making you look like the bad guy. A guy who wouldn’t put you in a high priority and who would not consider your feelings after doing an unacceptable behavior, should go to the trash bin. DELETE.

3. This is another red flag which you really-really have to watch out. Many of my girlfriends have confirmed this as a bad signal. If a guy feels uncomfortable to introduce you to his friends, or ex girlfriend, or relatives as his new “significant” other; or if he feels the necessity to "hide" you from the world... then ladies, take a few steps back… turn around... and RUN as fast as you can! There’s no point in entertaining a guy’s dirty trick of trying to be discreet about your presence. He should be happy to be with you, and when he’s not showing that to you, RUN AWAY.

4. If a guy proposes to you or asks you to marry him only after three weeks of knowing you, you should realize that he’s probably going on the fast lane to see the insides of your skirt. The same goes if a guy you are dating calls your parents “Mama and Papa” after only knowing you for a month. (Yes, it’s time to laugh people…). No matter how connected you feel towards him, no matter how much truth he puts in his eyes, you should never ever say yes to his proposal and then AVOID him completely. Remember, you have got nothing to lose. If that guy is sincere, he will be the one who is afraid of losing you and will try very hard to prove you he’s worth it. If he’s not sincere, he should be ashamed of himself for bringing up the M word just to get under your skirt. (I have also noticed that my happily married girlfriends are the ones who put down their feet, and show they have got nothing to lose. These biatches have got NO fear).

5. With regards to character, you should watch out for guys who try very hard to please everybody. This is usually the case when the guy is insecure. In general, these guys try so hard for people to like him, for people to call him nice. They can go overboard by making you feel special, buying you lunches or dinners for no reason at all (you’re not yet his close friend, not yet his girlfriend). While it is not necessary to be overly cautious when you find guys like these, it is important to differentiate those who are genuinely nice and those who are just trying too hard to please people. With the latter type, once you become his girlfriend, you will be the last person on earth he is trying to please, as he will be expecting you to “understand” him for everything he does. Haha! Yeah, right.

Caution after reading: these red flags are only suitable for level headed, reasonable girls who can think clearly. Author is not responsible for any results of the above recommendations.
Author acknowledges that these red flag behaviors can also appear in women. However, in light of the Author’s straight sexual preference, from her observations she found these red flag behaviors mostly in men.